Long John's Yaoi
by elric0sis
Summary: The ukes are working at a male hooters called 'Long John's! What will the semes have to say about this? Yaoi KisaIta SasoDei KakuHida ZetTobi and PeiKo, RATED FOR SOME ANATOMY REFERENCES!


AU: Yes, it another Akatsuki yaoi story but only because I wanted to reward myself for updating all of my stories! ^/.\^ So here it is!  
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR HOOTERS!  
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Itachi sighed as he brought in another tray of dirty dishes into the kitchen. Him and the other ukes took up jobs at this new restaurant called "Long John's" basically the male hooters. While Konan went to the Hooters next door as a waitress, him, Deidara, and Hidan took up jobs here as waiters and Tobi got the lucky-ass job of being the bus boy. Itachi and the other two were required to dress in tight, short shorts and small shirts that only covered half of their stomachs. When they were presented with their 'uniforms', as the pervert of a manager liked to call them, Hidan practically chewed the guy out and almost got fired. Itachi had to calm the two down and remind them of why they were doing this job in the first place. The two had eventually compromised and they were now, full time waiters at this hell hole.

Itachi set the dishes down into the washer and got another tray ready. He walked out of the swinging doors of the kitchen and nearly had a heart attack. He ducked down into the kitchen, the tray falling onto the floor. At the register were their semes, Kisame, Kakuzu, Sasori and Zetsu, Pein probably walked off to the Hooters to have a drink. Boy was he going to get a surprise. Shaking his head, Itachi started to panic. _'What are we going to do?! If the guys see us like this they'll freak out and kill everyone in this place! Not only would we have to find another place to work, we'll have to pay for the damage to!'_Itachi thought, crawling further into the kitchen. Hidan saw him on the floor and picked the weasel up by the collar of his shirt, getting a squeak from the man.

"Itachi? What the (BEEP) are you doing on the (BEEPING) floor?" Hidan asked, setting the guy down. Itachi ran up to his ear and whispered ferviously, making Hidan's eyes go wide. "HOLY (BEEP)?!?!?! ARE YOU (BEEPING) SERIOUS?! AWW (BEEP) (BEEP) (BEEPITY) (BEEP) (BEEP)!!!!!!!" Hidan screeched until Itachi slapped a hand over his mouth. They both peaked around the corner to see if their semes heard, but they didn't seem to. The two sighed and hurriedly told Deidara, warning the blonde. Suddenly, their boss walked in. "Itachi! We have customers! Table 7, hurry up!" the boss said and slapped the weasel on the ass to get him moving. Itachi squeaked and visibly shrank, going out to the restaurant with an arm full of menus. 'Well, (BEEP).' Itachi thought, walking over, 'Here goes all of my dignity out of the window.' Itachi hid his face by his bangs, trying to provide himself with some cover. Dediara, Tobi and Hidan watched from the kitchen, hoping the weasel luck.

Itachi approached the table of laughing buffoons. "I-I'm here to take your orders, sirs." he said quietly, but unfortunately not quiet enough. Kisame snapped his head around to the voice at neck breaking speed, his eyes going wide. "Itachi?! What the hell are you doing here, koi?!?! Wait, DO YOU WORK HERE?!" Kisame roared, getting up and bumping the table. Itachi looked around quickly and ran off to the bathroom, dragging Kisame behind. The two burst in and Itachi made sure that no one else was in there, then locked the door. He turned back to a very pissed shark. "Kisame, try to understan-" "UNDERSTAND WHAT?!" Kisame yelled, " THAT MY ADORABLE, CUTE, Wonderful, Beautiful, koi is working in a dump like this?" Kisame yelled, slowly making his voice softer as he looked at Itachi's face. Itachi was as passive as ever but his eyes sparkled, almost as if he was going to start crying. Kisame embraced his uke, kissing Itachi's tears away and holding him tight. "Itachi.....I love you.....And I don't like that you're working here....." "The others are working here to....." Itachi mumbled. "Why are you guys working here?" Kisame asked.

It was quiet for a few minutes, Kisame was about to ask again when Itahci sighed and started talking, "You know how I said that I was working out a deal with my dad to get money for us to get our home and go to college and everything?" Kisame nodded, he was eternally thankful for Itachi father, Fugaku Uchiha, the head of a multi-million dollar company. "Well, he said to pretty much (BEEP) off and kicked me out of the family, so I've been working here with the others to earn the money...." That bastard! Kisame hated that damn, prissy Scrooge! Not even helping his own child! "Itachi.....If you would have told me that I would have helped-" "No!" Itachi said, firmly, shaking his head. The small Uchiha traced the small, red and blue engagement ring on his finger. "If we are serious about getting married, I-I want to be the best husband I can be. And that includes taking care of my family." Itachi said, earning a painful expression from Kisame.

"Itachi......We have to go through this together, that's the whole point of marriage......Promise me that this will be your last night here, then we can do this together?" Kisame said, kissing Itachi. Itachi sighed and returned the kiss. They ended and Itachi said, "Hn. But we have to help the others with their tough times as well." "Of course." They agreed and Itachi unlocked the bathroom, walking Kisame back to the table. Itachi took everyone's orders and went towards the kitchen to place the orders. When he was almost there a drunk man slapped him on the ass, causing Itachi to squeak and Kisame to growl at the man. Itachi rushed into the kitchen, quickly giving the chef the orders and rushing off to find the other ukes to tell them the good news. They all cheered, so loud that the manager over heard and was pissed. Those four were the best and most of the customers came just to see them, not even to eat the food! The boss thought of something, then smirked and remembered something. The creepy pervert stalked off, _'those four wont be happy for long!'_ he thought.

The rest of the night went smoothly, and it was almost time for the four uke's shifts to end. Kisame and the others stuck around until their ukes quit, just because they didn't want the boss to get any ideas about torturing them. It was five minuted to closing when suddenly, a huge crowd of single men, who probably didn't have anything better to do, walked into the restaurant and headed to the stage off at the side of the place. The ukes were confused until their boss came up behind them and explained, "Come on boys, you know what tonight is right? no? Well, tonight is the grand opening of my annual, 'Long John's Eat off!' And you four are contestants!" "WHAT?!?!?!"The ukes and semes shouted, "You can't do this! We are leaving with our paycheck!" "You will participate if you want your paycheck and your leave payments." The boss said, smirking evilly. The four sighed and looked at their semes, their eyes telling them that they didn't have a choice. The semes grumpily agreed, walking to the front of the stage to get the show.

The ukes got up and stood by the table. There was four pans with rice inside, nothing else. The ukes were puzzled until their boss went on the microphone. "Ladies and Gentlemen! For your entertainment tonight, our very own employees will compete to be the first to finish eating, and the first to get their paychecks! But there's a catch, they will have their hands tied behind their back, forcing them to eat with their mouths!!!!!!" the crowd cheered except for the semes, who were steaming with anger as their uke's hands were tied behind their backs. "Ready. Set. GO!!!!!!!" The ukes all slammed their faces into the dishes, eating as much as they could with no hands. The crowd cheered them on, not because one of them were winning, but because they could clearly see their 'members' through the short pants, rubbing against the wood, turning the crowd on. The semes growled and were about to jump on the stage when Tobi lifted his mask, amazingly he ate with it on, and shouted, "TOBI'S DONE!!!!!" the other three stopped and cheered Tobi getting their hands unbound. The boss frowned, disappointed that he would have to let them go, but he was more afraid of their semes responses to him keeping them. He handed Tobi and the others their paychecks and they all slapped him across the face, except for Itachi who punched his lights out.

The semes scooped up their ukes and walked out of the doors with them, meeting up with Konan and Pein leaving behind a burning Hooters. The semes sweat dropped but continued back to the base.

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AU: Yay! I hope that you liked it! ^/.\^


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